Lately, I’ve been learning the differences between introverts and extroverts. This isn’t your run of the mill online course, but rather life “Chez Scott”.
One of us here is definitely an extrovert. She is a lover of people, of connecting, of light-hearted banter and a big fan of loud Rummoli nights with the girls. She is crazy about her humungous family, passionate for competitive board games and deeply desires long, tight hugs.
In the other corner, we have the introvert. I’m learning that he actually draws energy from just being alone. He needs a lot of time to ponder deeply before responding, prefers to be uninterrupted in the morning and although he misses family, seems to be coping just fine in this quiet house.
Myself, I’m finding isolation to be incredibly lonely. Are you feeling it these days too? By now, even some of my more introverted friends are starting to agree. It appears that this temporary and necessary house arrest is never-ending. The weeks drag on and Fridays and Tuesdays are now indistinguishable.
For crying out loud, I have grandkids and I don’t want the little guy thinking his Grami lives in his mom’s cellphone.
Today I can joke about it, but yesterday my throat singed hot as I fought back tears. I felt deserted by all of my friends in exchange for their fancy new isolation lives, too busy to connect. My husband left for work and my son is on some kind of a “mid-afternoon is the new morning” schedule. Even then, I’m far from a desirable companion for a sixteen-year-old who has an entourage of cool friends literally at his fingertips. So there I sat, alone and discouraged.
How do you and I beat this looming loneliness? I know the standard (and true) Jesus-girl answer. Lean in to God. But seriously, what does that even mean? When I can’t see Jesus in the flesh, how can I snuggle in for that big bear hug I so desperately need?
Well, I know what leaning in to Him does NOT mean. It does not mean:
- Binge watching seasons of Netflix
- Yet another glass of wine to mask the heartache
- A pity party listing all the people who I miss and can’t even invite to this lonely assembly of one
We recognize that our thoughts lead to our emotions. So let’s change our thoughts. Yesterday I forced myself to make a new list (even though I honestly didn’t feel like doing this at all.) Just try it.
Things I am thankful for:
Wildflowers poking up through the grass
The smell of hotdogs broiling on the barbecue
Brilliant red cardinals chattering in the bush outside my window.
And I know (because listen, sister I have been here in this desolate place before) that making this list every day changes my heart, and it can change yours too! Thankfulness reminds our soul that God is blessing us. And He brings joy in the midst of isolation.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
in every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.
♥ Tess
Love the post on isolation!! I shed tears yesterday as well. Thanks for the reminder of importance of having a grateful heart!
(First is all, I must say…where did you get that lovely Rummoli board!?)
I can relate, in the opposite way…I am way on the introvert side, with way too many hobbies to keep me snuggled up comfy in my cocoon of solitude…and then all of a sudden it will hit me. “Oh gee, I had better call my brothers and sisters before they think I’ve abandoned them!”
Of course, I don’t have grandkids yet to pine for, and one child lives at home so I still get to see him, and the other lives in Astralia, so I never get to see ber, anyway. We also get groceries for my in-laws so still get to see them a bit, and am so thankful that I have social media to keep in touch with everyone else (although we have a new little great-nephew that I’m sooo anxious to meet! 💙).
To some it may seem like I’m very social, because I’m very active on Facebook…but I’m very social on my own time and my own terms, and as long as I don’t have to go outside of my home. LOL
Thankfully my hubby is a lot like me, so we aren’t minding this solitude much at all, but I do feel awful for those, like you, who need that outside connection. Our son is like you and is going ABSOLUTELY nuts with all of this isolation. My heart aches for him and I’m thankful that he is now delving into his hobbies and finding new and creative ways to keep busy, but I feel for his frustration and relate to it in the same way that I get overwhelmed when I don’t have quiet time. It’s funny how we’re all different, eh? Hang in there, Tess. There is going to be one heck of a party when we’re all out of this…we all have a lot of catching up to do. One of my first plans is to finally go visit your mom in her new place! ❤️
I also really feel for those who have lost a loved one and have had to go through the heartache of the funeral and loss and all that is involved without being able to comfort and connect even with each other in their mourning. That is when it hits me how cruel this situation really is. Again, thankfully for social media for live streaming and being able to post condolences, but it definitely isn’t the same at all. There’s nothing like a big ol’ hug…both in times a joy or grief.
Thank you Tess for sharing your heart. With tears I can understand and at times if feels like it will never be the same again. I want it to be the same but oh I want it to be so much more life than it was before. It appeared to give me fun before but I know the Lord wants me to have more connection with people so I need to wait in this loneliness knowing 1 Thess 5:28 is true. I am thankful you can name those things that we self medicate in order to not let that pain be felt. It is encouraging that someone will say it that we need to “feel the pain ” and let Jesus meets us in it. Looking forward to games again with you sister!!
Thanks Jan! The Rummoli board is from a great business Michaud Toys in Jarvis.