Like a Locomotive

I’ve had the same bra for three years, so I suppose it is time for a new one.  The nice lady at the bra boutique urged me to come in for a fitting and I cried.  This took me by surprise.  I cried at the thought of this gentle, kind lady measuring me.  You see, the last time she took my measurements, a few years ago, it was to fit me for my first “adapted” bra after my mastectomy.  At that time it took weeks for me to work up the courage to go in.  She was so lovely and kind to me that I’ve been a repeat client for lots of other items ever since.  I very much like her. 

That’s why the fear that gripped my heart and sprang unending tears down my face was so shocking.  Measure me? Like with my shirt off?  Umm-No.  This may not be rational, and I wrestle with that thought.  But even my husband has not seen me naked for many months.  Wait!  Is this normal? Wow.  Fear, how did you creep up on me like this? You’re so comfortably nestled in my brain.

So, here’s where the rubber meets the road. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and studying about our brains and lies and the importance of filling our heads with truth and Wham-O.  Put your money where your mouth is, sister.

Since I’ve been learning that our emotions are the product of our thoughts, I took a few quiet minutes to try to determine what kinds of things were running through my head, feeding this intense fear.  Why am I so afraid?  Afraid that if he saw my body he would know.  He would see the ugly, the scar, the gross flat vacant chest. Barren, empty, ridiculously awkwardly uneven.  One poor lonely breast missing her sister.  It’s just the weirdness of it all.

I’m ugly.  I’m gross.  I’ve gained a few pounds which are not helping me here. Let’s add fat.  Ugly, fat, undesirable

So this is the line of thinking, like a locomotive out of control, barreling full throttle ahead that has been incessantly repeating in my brain.  Circling the track, and on and on and on.  These are the thoughts leading to my emotions, my feelings of sadness, worthlessness and fear.  Are you with me here?  Can you relate?  Recognize the emotion and backtrack to the thinking.

But listen sister, I have GOOD NEWS!  There is Hope!  We can put on the brakes.  We are not victims of our thoughts.  We can choose.

I think the problem is distraction.  I don’t know about you, but about a zillion things are happening around me and in my mind at the same time.  To me, it seems worse than previous generations. Work, schedules, relationships, social media, food, music, my phone all swirling around in there.  I’m constantly bombarded with expectations from work or my family and my cell is continually beeping notifications and texts and calls. Not all of these are bad things and some of these are very necessary.  But when was the last time that you took even ten or twenty minutes entirely alone and quiet (no cellphone) to pray and connect with God?  To meditate on his Word and listen? 

It’s no wonder lies can settle into the corners of our brains undetected for so long.  By the time we take an honest inventory, they’ve been making the rounds for so long they’ve worn a rut in the road making it super easy for them to just keep on going, on and on.  Lies, having a hay-day in your brain.

Bad thinking is affecting our emotions.  Emotions affecting our actions, our relationships, consequences and around we go.

The enemy is sly but his tactics are not new.  He takes God’s promises and puts a question mark right at the end.

“Did God really say He’ll never leave you?”

“Are you really a new creation?”

Over and over, doubt after doubt, these thoughts compound unconsciously in our brains.  But once we recognize them we can put on the brakes.  We can take each thought and compare it to what God says.  And (this is important) every lie, we will replace with truth. 

▷ Start with one big fat lie.  Each time you hear yourself think it, correct it.  Speak the Truth.  The only thing we know to always be true is God’s Word so let’s start there.

Who does God say I am?  Who are we according to Him?

You are God’s treasure.

You are God’s delight.

You are valuable and deeply loved

2 Corinthians 5:17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

Find the truth and replace the lies.  We have a choice.  This is not easy.  It’s a battle sister.  But it’s one we will win, with God’s help.

♥  Tess