Rest

As the parent of a gang of small children, bedtime was my favourite time of day.  Can I get an Amen here?

I love my kids and all, but a home bustling with constant activity and never-ending excitement was downright exhausting.  Life was hectic with schedules to coordinate, housekeeping chores, and constant calls to referee squabbles.  By the end of the day my legs, heavy with fatigue, were only encouraged up the stairs by the hope of a few precious hours of peace and quiet.

“The littles” at our house were of course the most work and not coincidentally assigned the earliest bedtime.  Stories were short and sweet and more than once my eyelids let me down, closing heavy, mid-sentence. So.  Very.  Tired.

I recall one endless day when the sun could not go down quickly enough.  Cuddling my two little toe heads I recited a familiar story for the zillionth time and clenched my teeth in an effort to stay awake.

Almost there.  A few short minutes and I could collapse, dead weight, into my pillow in joyous relief. 

And then it happened.  As close as I was to clutching my sweet rest, it was quickly ripped from my grasp.

 “Don’t forget to pee.  Run along to the bathroom.  Off you go.”   I reminded the little guy.

But in response, my sweet child said something that changed my evening plans in a way I never expected.

“Mom, we don’t need the bathroom” he explained, staring up between long lashes.  “We just pee in the Lego bin.”

YOU WHAT??

Surely this was some sort of silly joke. 

Nope.

Evidently, these two small boys had, in fact, been peeing in the giant Lego bin for quite some time.  Removing the lid confirmed this fact in short order as the pungent odour enveloped the small bedroom instantly.

Instead of an evening of blessed rest and relaxation, I faced a few hours of operational decisions, hard work and reflection on my choice of motherhood as a primary career. 

I don’t remember what I said to the little darlings.  Likely something profound and often quoted when subsequent generations of parents discover 2,000 Lego swimming in a sea of urine.

All this to say that parenthood is not for sissies.  It’s draining, frustrating and often overwhelming.

Bizarre circumstances will crop up again and again.  There will be no guidelines or easy answers.  And you may feel like you are alone in this parenting craziness.  Oh, and you will be tired (did I mention that?)  A bowl of cereal can be considered a healthy dinner and wearing matching shoes is to be commended.

Looking back, here are a few things I wish I had known.  If you’ve graduated from this “raising little kids” stage of life, maybe you can pass on some encouragement to a mom who is trying to hang in there today.

In Hindsight – Tips and Handy Reminders:

• Lower expectations to avoid disappointment (this applies to basically all areas and every relationship.)
• Short books still count as bedtime stories. There are no extra points for a large number of pages read.
• Do what you can, and don’t feel guilty.
• There are NO perfect families /perfect homes.  We didn’t have social media in my day and I cannot imagine how hard it must be to remind yourself of this in 2020.  Online posts are often not the whole story. Behind the picture-perfect autumn pumpkin display is a couch full of unfolded laundry. 

Even now, I struggle with a desire for perfection.  I want my days and my house to look a certain way. It’s good to have goals.  But when I fall short, when I’m too busy to do the things I want to do, I really have a rough time.

Listen sister, this is what I’m learning.  What I’m trying to do, and what I want you to do, is to rest.  To take one day at a time and do the things we can. 

Don’t get all tangled up in knots. This is my new goal.  Live at peace.

♥ Tess

Matthew 11:28-30

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”