The Corn Crib

Of course, I forget the date or even the exact year but I remember the feeling like it was yesterday.  I was raised on a farm, 15^th Sideroad a mile from town.  It was long grass, gravel roads, cows chewing their cud and angry geese chasing us around when we got too close.  The nearest house was a long walk and childhood friends were sparse.  Brothers were all I had but mine were younger than me and altogether annoying.  It was a time when parents didn’t entertain kids and we made our own fun.  The farm was a good place to grow up and learn the lessons of youth, but this particular lesson took 50 years to understand.

In the centre of the barnyard stood a dauntingly tall structure, wood slats and wire – the Corn Crib.  This little girl stared up at the sky high mountain of cobs and couldn’t possibly see the top.  Immediately I knew I needed to climb it.  What fun I would have. I could climb to the moon.  The excitement rose in my chest as I imagined it.  My head buzzed with the prospect of the great climb.  The boring days were gone, and the thrill of anticipation reigned!  

My daddy did not share that same excitement.

“No”

Anger burned within me at the injustice of it all.  Why not?  That’s not fair!  I mean, it’s staring at me just begging to be climbed.  And I reeeeeeeally want to climb it. 

“No”

Anger turned to sadness and sadness to self-pity.  My daddy didn’t love me.  Wouldn’t a daddy who loved his little girl let her climb a glorious tower of corn cobs on a hot summer day?  My tiny heart was crushed.  I doubted that my father had my best interest in mind and I suspected that he was out to ruin my fun and perhaps my whole life.  (4-year-old girls can be tiny drama queens).

All these years later, as I sat with my dad in his last days of life on this earth, we reminisced about the good old days.  We talked about the old farm and all the fun we had.

“I do have a bone to pick with you”, I teased. 

And I reminded him of this terrible treatment of his little girl.  How could he have been so cruel?  He refused to give me the very thing that my heart desired.  The thing that would have made his little girl happy on that hot summer day.

“Tess – there were RATS in the corn crib.”

RATS???   NOOOOOO!!

Suddenly I understood.  And I could clearly see that my father was protecting me, not denying me.  He loved me very much.

Have you ever felt like this?  Like you want something so very badly?  And that thing you want – it is a good thing!  And God is not saying yes.  And it makes no sense.  You yearn for it. You ask, you beg, you try to convince God that it is a good plan. 

 Still “No”. 

I get it.  I’ve heard a hard NO for many more serious things too.  And sometimes we learn why, and sometimes we won’t know for a long time.  Maybe not until we see Jesus face to face.  But what I do know is that God loves us.  

Matthew 10: 29-30 says:   Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

God sees today and He sees the future at the same time.  He knows every detail we are not privy to.  The hard NO sometimes doesn’t make sense to you and me today, but we can know that God loves us.  He is watching out for us in ways we can’t even imagine.  Trust Him.

❤Tess